The process of relationship building is regarded with much more significance in most parts of the world than it is in America. American negotiators are, generally speaking, objective about the specific matter at hand and usually want to waste no time in getting down to business and making progress. This approach, well understood in the United States, can be disastrous if the foreign negotiators want to take enough time to build trust and respect as a basis for negotiating contracts. In such cases, American efficiency interferes with the patient development of a mutually trusting relationship, which is the very cornerstone of an Asian business agreement.
In many countries, such as Mexico and China, personal commitments to individuals, rather than the legal system, form the basis for the enforcement of contracts. Effective negotiators allow plenty of time in their schedule for such relationship building with bargaining partners; this process usually takes the form of social events, tours, and ceremonies, along with much light conversation, or nontask sounding, while both sides get to know one another. In such cultures, one patiently waits for the other party to start actual business negotiations, aware that relationship building is, in fact, the first phase of negotiations. It is usually recommended that managers new to such scenarios use an intermediary-someone who already has the trust and respect of the foreign managers and who therefore acts as a relationship bridge. Middle easterners, in particular, prefer to negotiate through a trusted intermediary, and for them as well, initial meetings are only for the purpose of getting acquainted. Arabs do business with the person, not the company, and therefore mutual trust must be established.
In their best-seller on negotiation, Getting to Yes, Fischer and Ury point out the dangers of not preparing well for negotiations:
In Persian, the word compromise does not have the English meaning of a midway solution which both sides can accept, but only the negative meaning of surrendering one's principles. Also, a mediator is a meddler, someone who is barging in uninvited. In 1980, United Nations
Secretary-General Kurt Waldheim flew to Iran to deal with the hostage situation. National Iranian radio and television broadcast in Persian a
comment he was to have made upon his arrival in Tehran: I have come as a mediator to work out a compromise. Less than an hour later, his
car was being stoned by angry Iranians
As a bridge to the more formal stages of negotiations, such relationship building is followed by posturing-that is, general discussion that sets the tone for the meetings. This phase should result in a spirit of cooperation; to help ensure this result, negotiators must use words like respect and mutual benefit rather than language that would suggest arrogance, superiority, or urgency.
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